Replacement CAT

Our current cat has resigned with immediate effect, citing “a lack of appreciation for the strategic importance of 4am zoomies.” We're therefore looking for a replacement cat who can: 📋 Keep things organised (preferably better than our current cat) 📧 Handle admin without knocking the paperwork onto the floor 🗓️ Manage a busy calendar naps, snacks, meetings, repeat 🧠 Multitask under pressure 🐾 Maintain excellent attention to detail, particularly when treats are involved ☕ Bring a positive attitude and a willingness to sit on keyboards at critical moments Previous cat experience desirable, but not essential. Salary: competitive (paid primarily in treats). Benefits: unlimited head scratches and a supportive home environment. Essential: Cat. Desirable: Fluffy. Experience: 9 lives preferred, but training will be provided. 📩 Interested? Send your best furballs and cat photos. Shortlisted candidates will be invited to do a run at 3am around the house, although they will probably ignore us. Super Important Person Screening Questions:

1. At 3:07am, you suddenly acquire 400% more energy. What is your preferred strategy? A) Sleep B) Sprint repeatedly around the house C) Scream at an empty hallway D) All of the above, in that order
2. You discover a cardboard box has been delivered. Please describe your approach to this important new piece of office equipment. (Bonus points for ignoring the contents completely.)
3. A member of staff is sitting quietly and minding their own business. How would you demonstrate your ability to disrupt productivity while maintaining a professional demeanour? A) Sit directly on their keyboard B) Push their belongings onto the floor C) Stare at them until they get up D) Demonstrate all three simultaneously Cat HQ › www.himilo.co.uk Serious Face HQ › www.everyonetoldmeno.com